[Off-Topic] Jokes, Funny pics - HTC Pico (Explorer)

Well, after so much modding, rooting, android development and what not... i wanted to create a place where you can come to have a good time..
So people...bombard this thread with Jokes, memes, pics or whatever you think might make us laugh
@Moderator. Please dont close thread. I think the htc Explorer forum personally deserves its own jokes Palace it could go to .
So ill start.
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A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods.
She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The
frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you
three wishes."
The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed
to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish
for, your husband will get times ten!"
The woman said, "That's okay."
For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the
world.
The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your
husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will
flock to".
The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful
Woman and he will have eyes only for me."
So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world!
For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in
the world.
The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the
world. And he will be ten times richer than you."
The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his
is mine."
So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!
The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd
like a mild heart attack."
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop
here and continue feeling good.
Male readers: Please scroll down.
The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife .
Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really
smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show
PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show
that women never listen!!!

Little Johnny walks up to his Aunt and says , "my God, Aunt Edna why are you so damn ugly?"
His mother overheard this and pulled Johnny into the kitchen. and screamed, "how could you say to your aunt is so damn ugly!
"Because she is," said Little Johnny.
His mother said, "You go back in there and apologize to her, right now! I mean it, you tell her you're sorry!"
Little Johnny goes into the living room, walked over to his aunt and said, "Aunt Edna, I am sorry you're so damn ugly."

Man runs home yelling "Pack your bags honey. I just
won the 10 Million lotto.
Wife : Do I pack for the beach or mountains ?
Man : Who cares ? Just pack and get lost !

Crazy drunk guy

A man was in his front yard mowing grass, when his attractive blonde female neighbor, Judy, came out of her house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it, then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house.
A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mail box, and again opened it and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.
As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"
To which she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, YOU'VE GOT MAIL."

instead of fooling around go to system - > about -> and tap android version 10 times.... see what happenes !
differ from rom to rom
check it on landscape also:good:

hrkh83 said:
instead of fooling around go to system - > about -> and tap android version 10 times.... see what happenes !
differ from rom to rom
check it on landscape also:good:
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Nothing happens, I'm on cm9 build #8.
Sent from my HTC Explorer A310e using xda app-developers app

My reaction on studies
Sent from my HTC Explorer A310e using xda app-developers app

hrkh83 said:
instead of fooling around go to system - > about -> and tap android version 10 times.... see what happenes !
differ from rom to rom
check it on landscape also:good:
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
I got this
Sent from my HTC Explorer A310e using xda premium

hate when this happens

Meanwhile somewhere.....
typed from htc pico powered by nextgen 1.5

A young man was lost wandering in a forest, when he came upon a small house. He knocked on the door and was greeted by an ancient Chinese man with a long, grey beard. "I’m lost," said the man. "Can you put me up for the night?" "Certainly," the Chinese man said, "but on one condition. If you so much as lay a finger on my daughter, I will inflict upon you the three worst Chinese tortures known to man." "Ok," said the man, thinking that the daughter must be pretty old as well, and entered the house. Before dinner, the daughter came down the stairs. She was young, beautiful, and had a fantastic figure. She was obviously attracted to the young man since she couldn’t keep her eyes off him during the meal. Remembering the old man’s warning, he ignored her and went up to bed alone. But during he night, he could bear it no longer, and sneaked into her room for a night of passion. He was careful to keep everything quiet so the old man wouldn’t hear. Near dawn he crept back to his room, exhausted, but happy. He woke to feel a pressure on his chest. Opening his eyes he saw a large rock on his chest with a note on it that read, "Chinese Torture 1: Large rock on chest." "Well, that’s pretty crappy," he thought. "If that’s the best the old man can do then I don’t have much to worry about." He picked the boulder up, walked over to the window and threw the boulder out. As he did so he noticed another note on it that read: "Chinese Torture 2: Rock tied to left testicle." In a panic he glanced down and saw the rope that was already getting close to the end. Figuring that a few broken bones was better than castration, he jumped out of the window after the boulder. As he plummeted downward he saw a large sign on the ground that read, "Chinese Torture 3: Right testicle tied to bedpost."

A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up as it sometimes does.
But then the wife suddenly stops and says "I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me." "WHAT!?" says her husband. The wife explains that he must be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. He realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it.
The next day the husband takes her shopping at a big department store. He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits. She can’t decide. He tells his wife to take all three of them. They head to the shoe department and pick up matching shoes worth $200 each.
The pair go to the jewelry department where she finds a set of diamond earrings that her husband agrees to buy for her. The wife is so excited. She thinks her husband has flipped out - but she doesn’t care. She goes for the matching tennis bracelet. The husband says "You don’t even play tennis, but if you like it then let’s get it."
The wife is jumping up and down so excited she cannot even believe what is going on. She says to her husband, "I’m ready to go, let’s go to the cashier."
The husband stops and says, "No, honey I don’t feel like buying all this stuff now." The wife’s face goes blank. "Honey - I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while."
The look on her face is indescribable and she is about to explode as her husband says, "You must be in tune with my financial needs as a Man."

Xzan23 said:
A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up as it sometimes does.
But then the wife suddenly stops and says "I don’t feel like it, I just want you to hold me." "WHAT!?" says her husband. The wife explains that he must be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. He realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it.
The next day the husband takes her shopping at a big department store. He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits. She can’t decide. He tells his wife to take all three of them. They head to the shoe department and pick up matching shoes worth $200 each.
The pair go to the jewelry department where she finds a set of diamond earrings that her husband agrees to buy for her. The wife is so excited. She thinks her husband has flipped out - but she doesn’t care. She goes for the matching tennis bracelet. The husband says "You don’t even play tennis, but if you like it then let’s get it."
The wife is jumping up and down so excited she cannot even believe what is going on. She says to her husband, "I’m ready to go, let’s go to the cashier."
The husband stops and says, "No, honey I don’t feel like buying all this stuff now." The wife’s face goes blank. "Honey - I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while."
The look on her face is indescribable and she is about to explode as her husband says, "You must be in tune with my financial needs as a Man."
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Nice one man!!
---------- Post added at 11:28 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:24 PM ----------
I'm gonna share a real life experience of mine with you guys..
I once went to the movies, with my friend, and his grlfrnd of the time..
So we went to buy the tickets, and my friend asks the person over the counter for corner seat(for, u know some "business" between the 2)..
So the guy says OK.. And hands out the 3 tickets..
Now I went to see the movie, and those two came to... lets say fool around..
The theater was packed.. When we got there, our tickets were checked, and our seats were shown..
1 in the middle, and 2 on each corner of the row..!!
---------- Post added at 11:41 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:28 PM ----------
A bus stops and two Italian men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation. The lady sitting behind them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of the men say the following:
"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more. Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."
"You foul-mouthed sex obsessed swine," retorted the lady indignantly.
"In this country ... we don't speak aloud in public places about our sex lives ...
"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sexa? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spella 'Mississippi'."
---------- Post added at 11:44 PM ---------- Previous post was at 11:41 PM ----------
A man and a woman started to have *** in the middle of a dark forest.
After 15 minutes of this, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight."
The woman says, "So do I. You've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"

lolol the theatre scene was an amazing troll by that guy

Like a Sir

Xzan23 said:
lolol the theatre scene was an amazing troll by that guy
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
And obviously i sat in the middle, n they had to sit in each corner of the row..
Their reactions were priceless!! I thnk i still hv dem on video.. will post if i find it...
Sent from my HTC Explorer A310e using xda app-developers app
---------- Post added at 01:10 AM ---------- Previous post was at 12:36 AM ----------
Signs you drink too much coffee!!
- You answer the door before people knock.
- Juan Valdez named his donkey after you.
- You ski uphill.
- You grind your coffee beans in your mouth.
- You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse.
- You lick your coffeepot clean.
- You're the employee of the month at the local coffeehouse and you don't even work there.
- Your eyes stay open when you sneeze.
- You chew on other people's fingernails.
- Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend."
- You can type sixty words per minute ... with your feet.
- You can jump-start your car without cables.
- Cocaine is a downer.
- You don't need a hammer to pound nails.
- Your only source of nutrition comes from "Sweet & Low."
- You don't sweat, you percolate.
- You buy 1/2 & 1/2 by the barrel.
- You've worn out the handle on your favorite mug.
- You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee.
- You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in.
- You forget to unwrap candy bars before eating them.
- Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down.
- You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers.
- People get dizzy just watching you.
- You've worn the finish off your coffee table.
- The Taster's Choice couple wants to adopt you.
- Starbucks owns the mortgage on your house.
- Your taste buds are so numb you could drink your lava lamp.
- Instant coffee takes too long.
- When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop."
- You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can.
- Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil.
- You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer.
- You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
- You can thread a sewing machine, while it's running.
- You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
- You short out motion detectors.
- You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore.
- Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale.
- You think being called a "drip" is a compliment.
- You don't tan, you roast.
- You can't even remember your second cup.
- You help your dog chase its tail.

closing this thread, please continue here: http://forum.xda-developers.com/showthread.php?t=1966418

Related

Fun at work!!!

Want to have fun at work, heres the recipe:
1 pot for coffee.
2 bags of coffee mix.
2 filters
Brew only have the pot and serve to everyone.
LOL..............
I got the twitch now...
And so does everyone else in the office.
Apparently ive been banned from making coffee. No one can sit still.......
ARGH!!!!!!!! Too much caffine!!!!!!
bloody hell, what stupid thing
Thats pretty funny!
Im kinda high strung at the moment. They might send me home. LOL. This is freaking cool. LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!
That is our normal coffee (our walls are padded now!)
--M
smoke some pot instead of this poison lol...
you have pot already (lol )
so
1 bag of pot
2 bags of pot mix.
2 joints
no caffeine.
remember: do NOT cook ROMs after using (lol).

Just for Laugh

A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes." The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes.
Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!" The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to". The woman replied,
"That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will have eyes only for me." So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful Woman in the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you. " The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine." So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world! The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."
Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.
Attention female readers: This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and continue feeling good.
Male readers: Please scroll down.
The man had a heart attack ten times milder than his wife!!!
Moral of the story: Women are really dumb but think they're really smart.
Let them continue to think that way and just enjoy the show
PS: If you are a woman and are still reading this; it only goes to show that women never listen!!!
Ok,now THAT was good!
Women are like that,it's true...It's us that have to watch out though!

Game,The beauty drunk

Beauty and the uncle of drinking, two people back to see who drink quickly, he was impatient, a drink will look back at you, you're lost. You should drink it quickly.
Operation method: super quick strike people screen, drink more quickly, when Uncle began to drink it, you have to click on the uncle to calm him down. Want to see the beautiful woman drunken appearance, use finger quickly come on screen.

[GAME][4.0+] Fisherman - Monsters and Stuff - fast paced, pixel crafted arcade game

FISHERMAN - MONSTERS & STUFF
Hi! My name is Al Fish. I’m the hero of the Fisherman.
When my parents ran the Fisherman v. 1.0 for the first time, everybody had a feeling of crossing the border between madness and reality. Just 5 years later they were buried alive on a desert in New Mexico. Probably this is the way the Fishboy was created.
Me, legendary Canadian Australian with the face of a child and the mind of a veteran fisherman.
After a decade of soaking in salty water I met Ron Kowalski and Polish Kielbasa, and got to know an ink printer, a computer with a pitiable capacity and the dial-up 56 Kbps Internet connection. That was purely awesome. Getting connected to the Net almost blew my mind. For the next 6 months I was like paralyzed because of the things I’d discovered.What have you done?
The Adobe tutorials are amazing, the molecular effects and culinary blogs are twice as amazing, but the most amazing is the fact that every web page keeps loading itself for hours.
That was an absolute revolution of my retro Australian arcade reality. That was probably the beginning of a new project - “The Fisherman, Monsters and Stuff”. My world has been being transformed for nearly 15 unforgettable years to finally appear in Google Play and App Store. While this was happening, our budget was deprived of 2 trillions of Fish dollars ( the equivalent of a small packet of French fries, a cheeseburger and medium Coke).
But we have done it.
Every single pixel feels the high shiny wave we are surfing on. Now we are online. Find out how every beautiful morning the 8bit generation absorbs the web. In the fumes of paranoia the next versions of the Fisherman is evolving into something we can’t even imagine
.
You can become a part of it.
Visit Google Play and give us feedback today! (or tommorow, or some day in the future).
looks pretty cool gonna try it now
My eyes :cyclops:
But cool looking! Installing right now and I'll leave feedback in the Play Store.
cool.. i will try it..
Nice !
Wow, that looks great! I'm going to download it and play now. If there is a feature to donate, or buy, I'll spend a few bucks to support further weirdness like this
Fun Game... Who doesn't like fishing with a hammer ??
Al_Fish said:
FISHERMAN - MONSTERS & STUFF​
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
fix your title brother its "arcade game" instead of "arcade gane" silly mistake ​
Thanks, it's fixed.
We are working right now on a new game levels so the gameplay would be more interesting
Any feedback, everyone?
game review
​
This games makes addicted and angry at the same time. A great combo :laugh:
As soon as the bomb blows up my fingers get in rage to hammer on the play button asap
I'm really surprised this game isn't getting more attention.

[game][free] Jumping Jimmy

Help "Jumping Jimmy"! Jimmy can't hold still but always needs to move and jump into the air! Help him to do so but be careful so he doesnt get hurt!
Can you do it?!
DO THE JUMPS ON GOOGLE PLAY
DO THE JUMPS ON GOOGLE PLAY
HELP "JUMPING JIMMY" WITH JUST ONE TAP!
After a short meeting with mr Jimmy i can only describe him as greedy son of a *****. Jumping Jimmy will show full screen ad almost after every suicide attempt laughing at your face( so there is no real satisfaction killing little bastard on purpose). Cmon, man, it takes longer to reload full screen ad than game itself, slow down a bit.
timeflask said:
After a short meeting with mr Jimmy i can only describe him as greedy son of a *****. Jumping Jimmy will show full screen ad almost after every suicide attempt laughing at your face( so there is no real satisfaction killing little bastard on purpose). Cmon, man, it takes longer to reload full screen ad than game itself, slow down a bit.
Click to expand...
Click to collapse
Hey Timeflask!
Haha I'm sorry! I played the game all too often. I usually die late in the game so I didnt recognize the interstitials are shown too often! Thanks for your critical comment! I will reduce the interstitials shown immediately! Hope you will kill Jimmy with more pleasure afterwards!
Greets
Uploaded a new version with less advertisement..! Any further ideas for improvement?
Much better thanks!
Added more achievements! Enjoy!
How do you like it? We would be glad abou feedback!
Greetings,
GoodLuckGames
funny game, cute graphic, good gameplay, go ahead man :good:

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